No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
