And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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