...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
