I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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