He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
