I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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