definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I had to cum in my sink.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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