i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
