I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
