What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
