It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
