you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
