Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Floor bacon is actually really good
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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