I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
