he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You were trust falling into bushes
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
