so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
