Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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