Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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