I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
