i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
