Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
