its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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