How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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