we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
