i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
