I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
