getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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