garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
