I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
