I hate your face
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
