I wish i was in the wii world.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
