why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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