For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
