I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
