WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
