Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
