Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
