girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Randomize
