is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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