i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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