I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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