he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
