your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
