That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
