Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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