Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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