How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
