I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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