I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
