this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
