After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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